no.23 or Two people in my head - 9/25/2003

So I'm working now. Yes I've been working for a little more than 2 years think. Sometimes I loose track of how long I've actually been working. I suppose that is a rather strange thing to happen considering that I'm not yet into the "senile with drool dribbling down my mouth" category.

Die Mother******. Die. Die.

So I've been working an average of around about 12-13 hour days for some time now and generally I don't mind it. Hell. In fact it’s probably my fucking duty seeing as how I will one day be my own boss. I like my job and I know I'm damn good at it.

Die Mother******. Die. Die.

But then, every time I actually start feeling good about myself, this pesky little voice starts off in my head. GK, do this, GK do that. GK you are a looser. GK you’re pathetic and so on and on and on. Sometimes I'm able to block this little voice in my head.

Die Mother******. Die. Die.

Other times, I seem to forget things. I have lapses in my memory stream. There are whole hours and days (usually the weekends) that I simply can't remember. Sometimes I look at the posts I've made and I can't believe that I actually wrote that shit. I mean I am not God. I'm really not.

Die Mother******. Die. Die.

Recently though, things have been pretty bad. I think I know what is going on and it scares me. I think there's somebody in my head. At times I'm reminded of that line from the song by Seal, "There are two people walking in my head and one of them's got a gun to shoot the other one."

Seal?! What the ****! Die Mother*****. Die. Die.

So anyway, it’s become so bad that I'm scared to sleep. What if I never wake up. I don't think the person inside my head is a very nice guy. What if he trolls all over this wonderful board? I would never be able to forgive myself for bringing him out and letting him loose. Then again, if I never wake up, I would not have to bother with any of his
nonsense would I?

What the ****? Now this lame ass poseur is scaring me.

Die Mother******. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die

DEAD

Well, that's one sorry ass mofo we won't see ever again.
Nobody messes with God.