tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61844722011-04-25T03:56:33.616-07:00a bunch of random mumblingsGauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comBlogger751100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159565106804258142006-09-29T14:24:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:25:07.413-07:00

He is a man who loves to write. Reams and reams of paper fallunder his pen as he writes. The people in the town call him thecount. I'm not sure if he really is a count but he's the richest man inthese parts and I guess that makes him count. He also funnily enough has asingle minded obsession with paper. The count owns land and on the land istimber and gigantic timber mills. Paper of every size

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564896108987192006-09-29T14:21:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:21:36.110-07:00

I finally bought myself Sigh's brilliant Imaginary Sonicscape. This albumis just so damn good its quite unbelievable. The Slaughtergarden Suite isone epic piece of work and the different moods all just put a smile on myface. Sometimes a happy smile and at times a sad smile but damn, this isbrilliant. Yesterday I decided to pull out a few of my old AR tapes. The tape Ifinally decided to play was

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564855797406032006-09-29T14:20:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:20:55.803-07:00

What did you see before the world went dark?One brief glimpse at Armageddon?What did you see, or did you sleep?Did you sleep through another Armageddon?What did you see before the world went dark? I always like leaving a space between the word andthe question mark but that damn Microsoft puts that horrible greenline when I do it. A bright sunny afternoon. A girl wearing awhite shirt and bue

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564797895430482006-09-29T14:19:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:19:57.903-07:00

Lies, treachery a bag of tricksDead mosquitoes, cigarette ash, Sloth a favorite sinWater in a dirty glass, Ruptures on my skin, within, withoutSalvation Denied Buckets of bile, why?Because I can, I want, I mustSalvation Denied Fly me so highSo high as to curse the sun.Burn my eyes? Enough fire aroundSalvation Denied As soon as things settle down here, I'm going to take a vacation. Aproper nice

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564734289662712006-09-29T14:18:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:18:54.300-07:00

Another wasted weekend slipped past me. It feels like the year so far hasjust been travelling from one weekend to the next and partying. Thats allthats happened in the first three weeks and I'm getting a little tired ofit. I think I'll go back to being a weekend warrior as well. This dailybusiness is getting me down. No more parties for some time too. I think fromthis weekend onwards I'll just

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564662036465332006-09-29T14:17:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:17:42.040-07:00

The bells continue to ring. I have given up my search for the truth.Perseverance was never my greatest trait. Give me convenience or give medeath. Death is not an option and the bells are anything but convenient.Therefore I will take the only road open to me. Escape. Last night, I saw this shadowy figure sitting beside me. I keptgetting this feeling that I was not alone in my room. Strange. I've

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564576306728692006-09-29T14:15:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:16:16.306-07:00

Things don't just go on it seems.Happy people don't stay happy. Luckily, the sad people don't stay sad.Atleast not all of them. Balance is achieved. Balance. The most important ofall reasons that this world still lives. If there is a God, He or She (don'tget your feminist panties in a bunch just yet Dear Diary) will be, must be,the God of Balance.So I guess things do go on after all. Give me

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564508389030462006-09-29T14:14:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:15:08.390-07:00

Bored. Incredibly bored with no one to talk to. The gunslinger is busy withwork upstairs too. So damn bored. No work for except for one more meeting.That too should have happened almost two hours ago. I wonder what wouldhappen if I kept one of my damn clients waiting for 2 hours. There are some topics in this life that are best left untouched. I seem tohave a knack for bringing up these topics

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564408252403832006-09-29T14:12:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:13:28.256-07:00

Another weekend passed by. Another good weekend. Saturday was spentlazingaround and doing absolutely nothing till we all got smashed in wormboy'shouse. Smashed beyond belief infact. A complete numbness overcame me ataround 2am and that was when I decided to go home. A friend came along andthat long drive just passed by like it was nothing at all. I lost completetrack of time and everything else

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159564349792288952006-09-29T14:11:00.000-07:002006-09-29T14:12:29.793-07:00

They have a delightful ring to them. Peaceful yet disturbing. There is aposter of Burton C. Bell on my wall and the sound of the bells seem to comefrom there. Strange ? Ridiculous ? A bit of both actually. But mostly, justvery very scary.I have no idea where the damn sound of the bell is coming from. I have noidea what the sound is. My grandfather has an old wall clock and the bell onthat clock

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159563598720942582006-09-29T13:59:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:59:58.720-07:00

The skin on my palms continue to peel. They uncover soft pink flesh. Thehard brown callouses on my hand have long since been reduced to mereindentations. If I believed in destiny and fate, I would think that my fatewas being re-written before my own helpless eyes. Off course I mayjust be in need of some sort of cream for the skin and it may simply bea dryness that causes the peeling but lets not

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159563384177219112006-09-29T13:54:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:56:24.183-07:00

Paranoia runs rampant in mytemple. My acolytes spend more time looking over their shoulder insteadof washing my feet with their hair. My temple is dusty and crumbling. Thepaint is peeling off the walls. My acolytes have halved in number. I willforever remain a God but this new found paranoia is cause for worry. What dothey have to be paranoid about I wonder ? Sure, the world is not in verygood

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159563210490619732006-09-29T13:53:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:53:30.496-07:00

Yesterday another of my cousins got married. I missed the wedding andattended the reception from hell last night. It seems I am next in line toget married. This thought scares me a good deal. I also seem to be attendinga lot of marriages these days. Too many by far. Last evening was anything but swellAt times I felt like jumping into an open wellFreedom rang at the eleventh bellThis was the

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159562847168983672006-09-29T13:46:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:47:27.170-07:00

A very happy new year to all. A good two days and the party was goodfun too. Good booze, good food, good weed, excellent company and overallsome grand fun. Also some absolutely mind fuck events and the formation of anew chapter in my life. Unfortunately, being sworn to secrecy is quite ahandicap when you want to tell the whole damn world how great your newyear was. Still, better yto keep my mouth

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159562733679933122006-09-29T13:44:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:45:33.683-07:00

It seems like everytime I think I'm done, there's a little more to add inyou. This is without doubt the longest damn entry I've written. I may have made some friends over the New Year. Jack wants to meet for adrink and recap events. he's been wanting to meet for a drink for some timenow and while I've always thought of him as being quite a peaceful person,I've heard too many conflicting opinions

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159562654118291962006-09-29T13:42:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:44:14.123-07:00

For a while before thebottle smashing incident, I was feeling rather down. An intended call to therose didn't happen and it seemed like everything was just going out ofcontrol and I had no space of my own in my own place. Yasmin took it uponherself to entertain me. I may not like her much and probably never will butshe does seem to be a nice person. A contradiction there Ithink. Still, it was fun

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159562541630533302006-09-29T13:41:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:42:21.636-07:00

Another year passes byand we come that much closer to death. Oh, the futility of it all.What a terrible way tostart off an entry that should talk about two absolutely great days. The31st was a strange day. Came into work in the morning and and after fartingaround doing absolutley nothing for a long time except talk to the rose, andwait rather anxiously for a call from the Bombay Boys.After

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159562186907264852006-09-29T13:23:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:36:26.906-07:00

spaces between silencethat is all we are

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159561369542230062006-09-29T13:21:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:22:49.546-07:00

So I went to Bombay. My cousin got married there and I was present topartake in the festivities. A good 4 days it was too. Day one, wereached Bombay in the morning and after some spent freshening up I setoff with my mom, sis and a bunch of aunts/ cousins on a shopping expedition.Thankfully this was the only shopping expedition I was involved in. Laterthat day, an uncle held forth on the

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159561232172648132006-09-29T13:19:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:20:32.173-07:00

I don't know when you'll read this and if you ever will. Still I write thismore for myself than anybody else so here goes.You took away my sunglasses of black and grey and replaced it with thecolours of the rainbow. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make myheart go pitter patter, you make me talk. You taught me things I did noteven know existed. you made me think that I was not dead

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159560978545189632006-09-29T12:46:00.000-07:002006-09-29T13:16:18.620-07:00

I woke up at 6am today and could not go back to sleep. A sprained neck anda stiff stiff body is what I woke up with. Not very nice I say. I probablyslept the wrong way although I may have been raped by a demon. I hope I justslept the wrong way. The weekend was very chilled out. Lots of coffee, lots of food and lots ofwasted time. Saturday, the original coffee kvlt got together in honour ofthe

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159559065956118932006-09-29T12:41:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:44:25.960-07:00

So my bombay trip has been chopped in half. I'm rather angry right now andwould like to scream. Unfortunately I can't so I'm just sitting here andwriting in you. Grit my teeth and write. I kicked a chair in my office todayand it didn't even make me feel any better. This is the anti-zone. Evrythingthat can go wrong will go wrong. Hopefully, I can go to Bombay with a smileon my face. Hopefully.

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159558808898607602006-09-29T12:37:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:40:08.900-07:00

Yesterday this rather beautiful insect came into my room. It was tiny andseemed to be made up of two wings that had the colours of the spectrum onit. Tiny legs and a body that was obscured by these 2 wings that seemed tobe multi-layered. Quite beautiful. Unfortunately the mess it left on mywallet when i squashed it was anything but beautiful. The stain on my walletis still there i think. Why

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159558374380350622006-09-29T12:31:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:32:54.383-07:00

So I was off from work yesterday and I decided to see a movie. The movieinfact picked me and I ended up watching sleaze king Kashinath's movie,"meese iruwa ganasige demandappo demandu" which roughly translates to "Amanwith a moustache is always in great demand."Now Kashinath is a film maker who tries to put in socially responsibletopics in his films while targetting the front benchers and the

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159558287329099362006-09-29T12:25:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:31:27.333-07:00

Yesterday the menon and I went to Anekal. There, for the very first timethe dealer was outside the on the road. After the score, on our way out, westopped to exchange pleasenteries with the dealer. We were offered a plateof half cooked kababs and after the gulping down of the same, the dealertells us that he's been drinking all day with a bunch of friends causeanother friend of his had just died.

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159557842820347552006-09-29T12:21:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:24:02.836-07:00

So I saw Kal Ho Na Ho. Unfortunately dear Ravi, it is not about the absenceof prostitution in the future. This is going to be difficult to write but Iliked the movie. I'm such a wuss! This can't be happening to me. The moviewas melodramatic, cliched and predictable, the songs were so horribly campythey were embarassing to sit through and inspite of all this (orbecause of all this ?) I still liked

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159554789601480192006-09-29T11:30:00.000-07:002006-09-29T11:33:09.603-07:00

Another joint effort by sinisterbass, trollkein and deathrider and coming at youlive from the freehand poetry factory.Descent into the absurdHe's a glitch in the reality gameThe ultimate fan boy that any band would craveFor him, the song remains the sameUntil he discovers a whole new gameHe has been to the places where the universe fraysFrom fantasia to Floyd all in a bright pink hazeThe

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159553957727929752006-09-29T11:13:00.000-07:002006-09-29T11:19:17.730-07:00

Empty. Lost. A private entry for when I'm happy and a private entryfor when I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Promises made and the fear that Imay not be able to live upto them. Fear. How I loathe you. Bastard fear.There are few things that are good in my life right now. Few things. Metalhas lost some of its charm. Whats that noise I say ? Thank something or theother yet again for friendships I have

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159553125663274182006-09-29T10:57:00.001-07:002006-09-29T11:05:25.666-07:00

Last Saturday I had the most fun I've had in a long long time at a rockshow. I saw Zero play in Bangalore after what seems like centuries and theytore the house down. No frills rock and roll but damn, was it fun. They evenplayed a Led Zeppelin medley that I thoroughly enjoyed with Whole LottaLove, Communication Breakdown, Kashmir and the end of Stairway To Heaven.Zero were incredibly good fun

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159552725478243062006-09-29T10:57:00.000-07:002006-09-29T10:58:45.480-07:00

Last Saturday I had the most fun I've had in a long long time at a rockshow. I saw Zero play in Bangalore after what seems like centuries and theytore the house down. No frills rock and roll but damn, was it fun. They evenplayed a Led Zeppelin medley that I thoroughly enjoyed with Whole LottaLove, Communication Breakdown, Kashmir and the end of Stairway To Heaven.Zero were incredibly good fun

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159552609960249702006-09-29T10:55:00.000-07:002006-09-29T10:56:49.966-07:00

and my last ditch was says:hmmBe my queen of enraptured love, priestess of the black summer nightsays:indeedand my last ditch was says:quite soBe my queen of enraptured love, priestess of the black summer nightsays:some more really bad postry time ?and my last ditch was says:ithink soBe my queen of enraptured love, priestess of the black summer nightsays:cooloand my last ditch was says:lets do

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159552459417747292006-09-29T10:52:00.000-07:002006-09-29T10:54:19.416-07:00

Metaphysical and Obscure(Brought to you by the JP and I Freehand Poetry Factory)In dark afternoons of virtual boredom he crawlsScourge of the innocent and the youngThrough hallowed halls traces his snotty scrawlsBefore him all logic and wisdom fallsWith cribbed visuals and crabbed quotes he slaysThese might well be his golden daysThe poor lad, his fate unsungFor every silly riposte another enemy

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159552177204946992006-09-29T10:48:00.000-07:002006-09-29T10:49:37.236-07:00

Manichean depressivesays:so are we donenow?Through the flesh and tothe soul says:yepThrough the flesh and tothe soul says:i guesssoManichean depressivesays:coolThrough the flesh and tothe soul says:first victim?Manichean depressivesays:huh?Through the flesh and tothe soul says:who do inflict this epic on?Manichean depressivesays:ahhhManichean depressivesays:raviThrough the flesh and tothe soul

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159547624019677212006-09-29T09:32:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:33:44.023-07:00

Those whose names we forgotAnd all the tequilas they shotFriends and lovers once but strangers nowSolving crosswords without ever knowing howFriends and lovers once but strangers nowI watch the tree of time shed its calender leavesAnd I wonder if its just meI wonder what time has up its sleevesWill sister time ever forgive me ?Friends and lovers once but strangers nowCamomile tea and Iced

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159547506001922232006-09-29T09:30:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:31:46.010-07:00

Manichean depressivesays:arThrough the flesh and tothe soul says:yessir?Manichean depressivesays:justThrough the flesh and tothe soul says:heheheheThrough the flesh and tothe soul says:damn fucking boreddaManichean depressivesays:samehereThrough the flesh and tothe soul says:i thought of writing somemore really bad poetry but inspiration didn'thappenManichean depressivesays:blasting some tea

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159547383031500042006-09-29T09:29:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:29:43.033-07:00

Okay. The holiday is over. I'm back to work and reality has hit home. Apretty good week so far. The next few hours will be crucial and the tensionis getting to me. I hope its finished today. I hope. Lustbader's The Ring Of Five Dragons is utterly frustrating. I cannotfool myself anymore. Its an incredibly frustrating read simply because Ikeep forgetting where I've stopped reading and end up

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159547306301786852006-09-29T09:27:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:28:26.306-07:00

The morning ofthewedding saw us all oversleep and miss the bus with the wedding party.Luckily enough, taxi's were avalable in plenty and one was hired for nolarge fuss. The wedding was in this huge hall and as we entere, this feelingof being treated as a bunch of very important people just intensified.A brilliant breakfast followed by long periods of observing the weddingand discussing the

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159547194477261212006-09-29T09:25:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:26:34.486-07:00

Another good weekend. A holiday that saw intense periods ofchilling out, discussions on topics ranging from Lovecraft to cricket to theimportance of Tony Iommi. 5 people, each as different from each other aschalk is to cheese. 5 people whom for a period of little less than 2 days,bonded in a way I didn’t think possible. The 6th was justifiablybusy but without him, this would never have happened.

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159547029102997942006-09-29T09:23:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:23:49.106-07:00

I bathe in the warm glow that surrounds youLive off your reflection for a little whilelongerKeep me safe. Keep me warm. Keepme.I shed my skin in your incandescentlight.Naked and safe in completesubmissionKeep me safe. Keep me warm. Keepme.I live my life through your happyeyes.Vicarious and suitably irreverent.Keep me safe. Keep me warm. Keepme.Soul searching; found anddestroyedYour third eye is

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159546950035985972006-09-29T09:19:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:22:30.040-07:00

A delightfully trippy beat. A wonderful little melody, a deep richbass line and we’re off. A voice. Deep. Disturbing. Strange. This song willnever be a hit. But it’s so damn good. Beautiful…almost. Crescendos. Mild.Muted. Strange. Distorted. And we’re only at the first song. Things are offto a fine start in this 100th Window by Massive Attack.Happy. The bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159546728029387122006-09-29T09:18:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:18:48.033-07:00

A man hung himself on the top of that building right there. Yeah. I wonderif anybody lives there now. Hung himself with the help of his blue lungi. Iwonder if anybody lives there now and whatever happened to his blue lungi ?Dilbert: Can nobody show any empathy anymore ?Dogbert: Get out of my way. You're blocking my view ofthewall.A woman walking on the streets illuminated by the light of my car.

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159546668130273892006-09-29T09:13:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:17:48.133-07:00

Yesterday I met the woman of my dreams. She was huge. Not fat but huge. Ifshe was on top of me, there'd be no way for me to hear any music that wasplayed. Hubba Hubba! I think I'm in love. She's just landed in town and sodoes not have a visiting card yet. So no phone number. She has awierd name that I forgot. Why do these things happen to me ? This isthe woman of my dreams and I don't have her

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159546355712943702006-09-29T09:11:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:12:35.716-07:00

...and so i've been beaten down. Lord Boredom took a club and beat metill I lay on the side of the road in a bloody mess. The Exploited'sBeat The Bastards is the soundtrack to my own beatdown of Shamrockianproportions. My parents will probably object to the soundtrack. Atleasti hope they do. After many trials and tribulations I got my hands on the new Vital RemainsCD thanks to a friend. I've

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159546233950157162006-09-29T09:08:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:10:33.970-07:00

Ashes To Ashes, Lust To Lust says:you read his online blog ?KC says:noKC says:i got enough probs of my ownAshes To Ashes, Lust To Lust says:hahahahahahaAshes To Ashes, Lust To Lust says:you read mine ?KC says:noAshes To Ashes, Lust To Lust says:tchaa! KC says:i dont even know where it is put upAshes To Ashes, Lust To Lust says:damn!Ashes To Ashes, Lust To Lust says:aah well **** it thenKC says:

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159546078203501812006-09-29T09:06:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:07:58.206-07:00

She went out to grab a pack of cigarettes a while back. She's still notback and I may have lost here for good. Replacement is going to be a rathertricky option. I've never had to replace her before. She's just beenthere. A comforting presence that I could always fall back on. Motivationhas lost me and so far its not much fun.To say that my birthday was a blast would be an understatement. I had

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159545910446260922006-09-29T09:02:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:05:10.460-07:00

They are rather large. Like two silent hunters, they emerge from themother ship. Elongated and extended outward while still attached the mother.Their twin purpose in life is to only become bigger. Not necessarily betteror brighter but bigger. They come across the peaceful planet Bottlesomewhere in the galaxy of the Tub and immediately, their hunger isawakened. The power of these two silent

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159545632555664742006-09-29T09:00:00.000-07:002006-09-29T09:00:32.556-07:00

Well, am very very sleepy right now. The hash chocolates I had yesterdayhave bombed me so badly I can barely keep my eyes open. Yesterday was funbut also just a teeny bit scary. The level of bombedness was over the line.Still,quite a nice trip. Now, am just waiting for some strong coffee andsome hot food.Well, those damn chocolates were quite the trip. Yesterday I had a hardtime remembering what

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159545538938374522006-09-29T08:57:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:58:58.943-07:00

Dear Diary,A few days ago something rather disgusting came over me. I've beengrowing my thumbnail for quite some time now. I grow it largely as a weaponto fend off potential rapists who would like to take advantage of myvirginal body. Anyway, I am digressing here Dear Diary. So I have thisthumbnail thats grown long and is hard and rather ugly looking. A few daysago when I was done answering a

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159545353391623152006-09-29T08:52:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:55:53.410-07:00

no.26 or vagueness and obscurity - 10/9/2003I am Howard Phillips Lovecraft. A cursed God. says:do tellLead us, Warleader! says:nothing daLead us, Warleader! says: was just wonderingI am Howard Phillips Lovecraft. A cursed God. says:hey type somethingLead us, Warleader! says: something ?Lead us, Warleader! says: or is pathetic attempt at humour simply irritating ?Lead us, Warleader! says: or

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159545084643182062006-09-29T08:50:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:51:24.646-07:00

"That one can rest eyes on the thing one worships isan assertion of control at worst, or at best the illusion that one cannegotiate over one's fate.""And you find such notions pathetic, Onrack ?""I find most notions pathetic, TrullSengar."An extremely tiring day is slowly winding to an end. Tomorrow will bemuch the same as will the rest of the week. Tiredness (is that a word? I'mfeeling too lazy

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544972646592902006-09-29T08:47:00.001-07:002006-09-29T08:49:32.650-07:00

Dear Diary,Today I would like to talk about another bunch of non-happenings and maybea little truth that may or may not have happened in my life in the past fewdays. I hope you don't mind me writing all this Dear Diary but I reallydon't have a choice. A time comes when even God becomes sick of his ownvoice. Glorified drivers are generally middle management types who are asked toferry their bosses

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544864879927052006-09-29T08:47:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:47:44.883-07:00

So I'm working now. Yes I've been working for a little more than 2 years think. Sometimes I loose track of how long I've actually been working. I suppose that is a rather strange thing to happen considering that I'm not yet into the "senile with drool dribbling down my mouth" category.Die Mother******. Die. Die.So I've been working an average of around about 12-13 hour days for some time now and

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544756891187222006-09-29T08:45:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:45:56.893-07:00

Yesterday was a really really good day professionally. If by some miracle,I'd got laid yesterday it would have been absolutely perfect.In some rather confusing news, I've discovered that there may be more thanone cute girl waving/ smiling at me from the same house. So this one girlswaves and smiles and inflates my ego blah blah go to no.21, and then thenext day this other girl smiles and waves at

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544650599393312006-09-29T08:43:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:44:10.603-07:00

So I'm back to working days now and its strange. I actually see the morningsun and also see the sunset. Wierd shit.Innocent flirtations happened yesterday. This cute girl who I normallyexchange glances and smiles with waved at me from her 1st floor window whenI was having my usual smoke before heading to work. I suddenly felt like alittle boy and had a huge grin for the rest of the day. After

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544557831271842006-09-29T08:41:00.001-07:002006-09-29T08:42:37.833-07:00

Now the curtain of cloud that had hung till now about the eastern heightswas rent into shreds, and Koshtra Belorn stood like a bride before them, twoor three miles to eastward, facing the slanting rays of the sun. On all hervast precipices scarce a rock showed bare, so encrusted were they with adazzling robe of snow. More lovely she seemed and more graceful in her airypoise than they had yet

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544516057535852006-09-29T08:41:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:41:56.060-07:00

Now the curtain of cloud that had hung till now about the eastern heightswas rent into shreds, and Koshtra Belorn stood like a bride before them, twoor three miles to eastward, facing the slanting rays of the sun. On all hervast precipices scarce a rock showed bare, so encrusted were they with adazzling robe of snow. More lovely she seemed and more graceful in her airypoise than they had yet

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544446851735132006-09-29T08:39:00.001-07:002006-09-29T08:40:46.853-07:00

After a gap of almost two weeks I find myself returning to this forum. Yes,dear acolytes, I come back for you.I also come back to vent. I wish people who are over the age of 30 would notact like little children. I wish they would not indulge in petty games ofone upmanship. I wish that I could actually tell him exactly how I feelabout him. Unfortunately jobs are relatively tough to come by these

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544364782062432006-09-29T08:39:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:39:24.783-07:00

My weekend holiday is in all probability shelved. Work yet again takespriority. A new project will see me horrendously busy for the first week andthen lapse back into my slumber.People lie a lot. Yes they do and much as I hate to speak universal truths,things are just pissing me off here. People also take advantage of otherpeople. Well, tomorrow the hammer comes down and the old me may

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544294854692882006-09-29T08:37:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:38:14.856-07:00

People tell me things. I'm not sure why they do so but people tell me theirdeepest darkest secrets. Often it is people I barely know who tell me thesethings. Case in point being a college trip in my final year. This girl Ibarely know sits next to me on the bus and in the course of the nightproceeds to tell me her whole life story including a sordid chapter in herpast of physical abuse. I had

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544199796657862006-09-29T08:36:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:36:39.810-07:00

As I was driving in to work today, I had a brief glimpse of a man's life.This glimpse was in my head off course.I realised with a blinding flash of clarity that a Man's life is actually aDog's life. I don't mean any dog. Oh no. You know the Dog that exists on thescraps it can find in a bin? Thats the dog I'm talking about. I mean, thinkabout it. We are born into this world causing great pain to

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544135851039322006-09-29T08:34:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:35:35.863-07:00

I had a horrible day today. Just fucking horrible. I have not had such ahorrible day in a long time. My faith in humanity was restored though. Thereare people in this world who care. I'm not one of them most times but thereare people in this world who genuinely care.I felt a lot better after coming into work. Who would have thunk that.Yesterday I laughed till I had tears coming down my eyes. Some

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159544065646585222006-09-29T08:33:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:34:25.646-07:00

Today I learnt an important lesson. I learnt how to grin and bear a personyou have nothing but contempt for and while doing so light a nice hot fireunder his ass. My father is a good teacher. My father rocks!In other news I finally visited the goddamned barber. Yes I damned him withall my heart today. I've been going to the same salon for close to 9 yearsnow and for the last 7 I have asked the

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159543894462341392006-09-29T08:31:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:31:34.463-07:00

I wanted this entry to have a cool name. I really did. Unfortunatelywhatever creative juices I had going for me seem to have run dry. Hopefullythis is only temporary.This week so far has been rather dull. I sat at homw for most of the time.The acid is back big time and that is not very pleasent. Aaah well, atleastit is not piles or gonorreah that I have. Thank something or the other forsmall

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159543668280088342006-09-29T08:26:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:27:48.283-07:00

I feel good today. The day started off like any other. Rescued my dumbasscat once I got home in the morning, made myself some fried eggs flavouredwith Mango pickle, and went to sleep. The fact that my gardner had cruellyplucked out the plant and thrown it away did not really bother me. Blah! Itsonly another 6-7 years of waiting for the next plant.Surprisingly enough, my unreasonably good mood hit

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1159542243640111972006-09-29T07:57:00.000-07:002006-09-29T08:26:21.746-07:00

So I'm stuck today at a traffic light. A car is about 5-7 feet in front ofme. I get this uncontrollable urge to move forward and do the whole bumperto bumper line. I managed to resist the urge but it set me wondering. Whydid I feel the need to move that 5-7 feet when i knew that it did not reallymatter. I would still be stuck in the red light. I would still be behind thesame car. Such are the

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072701382246656142003-12-29T04:36:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:24:23.276-07:00

Revenge is a dish best served cold. The Godfather is my most favourite book of all time and I believe Mario Puzo thru Vito has taught me a few things. My time will come soon.The plant grows nicely. I am happy when I see it but due to nature of the plant I cannot display it publicly. I live in apprehension that the gardner will pluck it out and throw it away with the weed. That would be some

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072701340821073832003-12-29T04:35:00.001-08:002006-09-29T08:24:00.756-07:00

I find it hard to say no. I must learn from Vito on how I can say no to people. I end up saying yes to everything and then have no time to either complete the task or do the job in a half assed manner.I feel irritated when people complain that the favour I have done them has not satisfied them. DO IT YOURSELF THEN!!! Stoopid fricking morons.I may end up killing an aquaintance one of these days.

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072701312461193772003-12-29T04:35:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:23:37.780-07:00

If i sit with my friends and drink coffee but do not bother listening to half of what they say, and disagree with the half that I hear, why do I bother sitting down with them? A great mystery of my life but one that must be solved another day.Today is a day for celebration. After years of intense struggle and hardship, today I saw my first plant. It has taken life and I could not believe my own

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072167267316790692003-12-23T00:14:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:23:26.933-07:00

I feel like I am wasting time. Blah! I cannot use obscene language on this diary because other people might be offended. I cannot for instance call a person with homosexual preferences anything but a homosexual. I cannot call a child molestor anything but a "child molestor." I feel that this is not fair but I suppose I can and will live with it.Last weekend was another 48 hours of wasted time. It

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072167210684627562003-12-23T00:13:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:22:47.540-07:00

I like reading what I write. I also like meat, tobacco, coffee, cannabis sativa and repeating myself.Today has so far been exceptionally dull. A few more days of this and I may shut down. I drink ice cold water in the hope that I devolop a sore throat and not have to come into my daily place of bread earning. There has not been passion in my life for some time now. I believe that I have found

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072167168477746912003-12-23T00:12:00.001-08:002006-09-29T08:22:23.533-07:00

I may have hurt a friend today. I think i have and it pains me to have done so. I hope I did not but anyway, such is the insecurity that plagues my life. I'm not sure if I can call it insecurity but I would like to call it so.Today was a boring day. I hate going out with aquantainces but sometimes there is no choice. Social obligations occasionally rule my life and I have learnt to deal with it.

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072167129799648562003-12-23T00:12:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:21:59.560-07:00

It is the same day and I am back. This is a drug that seems to help. I will forget all about this soon but till then it will help.I am more comfortable talking to people from behind a monitor. I am a little less dishonest from behind a monitor. I think it should be the other way round but my analytical diarreah has run its course so I will spare myself the trouble.I like talking to women. I think

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072166899967703812003-12-23T00:08:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:20:12.766-07:00

People come to me when they want something. I exist solely for the benifit of others. I have come to resent this and yet I cannot help feeling that somewhere down the line these people will be of use to me and therefore I must help them today.I am a mountaineer leaving little caches of food for my journey back. I like to think of myself as a romantic adventourer who will never cease to stop

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072166828426949262003-12-23T00:07:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:18:05.630-07:00

I like reading what I write. I may well be the only person who reads what I write but I like it all the same. Self pity is out of fashion. It died with grunge. I must not wallow in it like a pig.Can I ever be honest? I think not. I can't help being dishonest. Its in my nature like the Scorpion said to the Frog. My English writing skills have deserted me. My grammar and punctuation have gone out

Gauthamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14061213717512660035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6184472.post-1072166788205024022003-12-23T00:06:00.000-08:002006-09-29T08:16:56.690-07:00

I haven't written a diary in years. I stopped writing the first time because I was scared the diary would be found. Now here I am writing in a public diary on the Internet. Ironic? Indeed!Not sure why I'm writing this as yet. Probably because I need to write so I can fit in somewhere. Could be because I need to vent. Maybe because right now, I have nothing else to do. The reason, I convince

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